Marriage counseling isn’t a mumbo-jumbo program where you could do anything you want. For it to work, it is very important to set some rules for you to follow. This way, you can have a systematic approach on the problem that’s ruining your marriage and solve it the way it has to be solved. Working together with your partner is something that you need to prioritize.
How do you work with someone you’re having problems with? It may not be easy but it’s the only way to save your marriage. Here are the rules to follow if you really want to work on your relationship. Applying these rules in marriage counseling will certainly get you and your partner back on track.
* Never Blame Your Partner
It must be irritating to be blamed in a team whenever you lose a game. For a team to work successfully and gain results, each member needs to work to the fullest and never blame anybody for a defeat. This is the same when you work your marriage. It is not good if you and your partner blame one another for the things that are ruining the relationship.
Blaming is one of the common errors when partners work on their relationships. Rather than actually “working” on it, they make the problem worse. You need to understand that focusing on the other’s fault and not taking responsibility for your own actions is not a good thing in a relationship. Instead, go for positive behaviors in marriage counseling.
* Do Not Nag Your Partner
After blaming each other, the nagging part comes next. The expressions like “See?!” or “Why haven’t you listened to me?” are signs that you are nagging each other. For the program to work on your marriage, these things have to be avoided. Working together means having an insight on the changes you must do to have a better relationship.
* Have Loving Discussions
When you are angry, it is very difficult to express the opposite side of the feeling, which is love. However, you do not have to hold hands and make more affectionate reactions when you discuss your relationship in marriage counseling. When the program says “have loving discussions”, it means that you need to be honest, open, and vulnerable if possible.
So, how do you have loving discussions? It must be very difficult for partners that are hurting, but the program will help you find a way to do it. You can only do that by following the rules in the program.
* Talk About What’s Really Happening
If you find that your partner is losing the time for the marriage, it is very easy to complain about it. More and more complaints come after due to the things that each other failed to accomplish. Think about this – does complaining let you know what is really happening in your marriage?
Knowing what’s really happening in your marriage calls for self reflection. If you want your marriage counseling to work, you have to know what you are really feeling. This way, you and your partner will find a way to communicate, compromise, and resolve any issues threatening your marriage.
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